


The Weight You Bear

by SoftMonster (solarius)



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Anxiety, I promise, M/M, Panic Attacks, just in case those are bad things for anyone, mostly tho it's just cute, or just before, somewhere in kh 3 probably, vaguely canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-04 04:40:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18336365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solarius/pseuds/SoftMonster
Summary: "They put so much weight on your shoulders and you’re expected to be ok..."





	The Weight You Bear

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what I'm doing?
> 
> (would love to hear what you think tho)
> 
> Monster

Sora stares at his hand on the pillow, fingers curled tight. He’s so tired, but his spiralling thoughts won’t let him sleep. They keep curling around and circling back on themselves in an endless loop of worries and fears that make his stomach clench.

_What if it’s all for nothing? What if I can’t do this? Everyone is counting on me, what if I fail? What if I don’t deserve everyones faith in me?_

He glances across the room where Riku is sleeping, sprawled out, one arm dangling off the edge of the bed.

_What if I hurt my friends? What if I hurt Riku?_

He grits his teeth together and curls into a ball, trying to escape the tension in his chest, which slowly crawls it’s way up into his throat, making his jaw ache and eyes burn. He’s not going to cry. He’s sixteen. Old enough not to be crying in the night. He’s not going to cry, he tells himself, even as a silent sob shakes his shoulders. If he cries, Riku might hear. Sora doesn’t want to wake him, this isn’t his problem. Riku has enough on his plate.

But for all the denial the tears come anyway, streaking down his face as he presses a hand to his mouth, trying to keep quiet. He shakes and presses his face into the pillow but eventually his traitorous body betrays him, an indrawn breath that shudders and catches, a pathetic little sob on the exhale.

He hears covers shift across the room and clamps his hand tighter over his mouth.

“Sora?” Riku’s whisper, sleepy and questioning. Sora knows he should answer. Maybe then Riku will go back to sleep, but his throat isn’t really under his own control right now so he stays silent, shaking and curled into the covers, both hands pressed over his mouth.

“Sora? You ok?” Riku sounds worried now. Sora can hear the creak of his bed and the sound of bare feet on the floor.

“Sora?”

His brain screams that anything is better than being caught crying in the night and he opens his mouth. No words come out, just a choked sob that feels like it was pulled from the centre of his chest, then another, and another.

Then Riku is there, a soft hand in his hair and a comforting weight on the bed.

“Sora?” He asks, soft voice tinged with worry. Sora can see his shape in the moonlight through blurry tears. He doesn’t know how to say what he needs so he shuffles the short distance to Riku, presses his face to Riku’s chest and finally lets the wave of emotion overwhelm him. A small part of his brain knows he looks like a fool, but the rest is unavailable, hijacked by his emotions, so he runs to the same place he always has, his best friend.

He cries, ugly and messy, clinging to the soft fabric of Riku’s pyjama shirt. He doesn’t know for how long but the fabric is damp under his hands when he becomes aware of warm arms wrapped around him, one hand rubbing his back in soothing circles while Riku murmurs softly

“Shh, it’s okay”

Slowly sobs turn into shaky breaths and sniffles. Sora scrubs at his eyes with one hand. His nose is blocked and his eyes itch and he’s sure he looks like a total mess. He feels Riku run a hand through the back of his hair

“Hey?” It’s a question. Sora can feel the way Riku ducks his head trying to catch his eye. He turns his face to Riku’s chest, not ready to talk yet. Words still seem distant and unreachable. He’s still concentrating on breathing like a normal person. Riku makes a small noise of understanding and goes back to rubbing his back, occasionally carding his fingers through Sora’s unruly hair. It’s calming and Sora lets himself get lost in the feeling of that warm hand on his back, until words don’t feel like such a monumental effort anymore.

“Sorry Riku” he mumbles, voice still wobbly and stuffy.

“You don’t have to be sorry Sora, it’s ok”he adjusts slightly, making sure one arm is firmly wrapped around Sora.

“I didn’t want to wake you.” Sora lifts his head, still not meeting Riku’s eyes, staring at his collarbone absently.

“It’s ok. It’s always ok. I’m always here if you need me.” Riku sighs, “and if it helps, I know what it feels like.”

Sora properly meets Riku’s eyes, the barest hint of teal visible in the moonlight, his expression soft and sad.

“They put so much weight on your shoulders and you’re expected to be ok, so you keep putting one foot ahead of the other even though it feels like every next step could bring everything crashing down around you.” His voice is soft, almost a whisper. Sora nods.

“I’m so scared of failing,” Tumbles off his tongue unbidden, “I don’t want to let anyone down, I don’t want to hurt you.” Placing his fears out in the open feels like laying his vulnerable places bare, but also some respite from them, a weight laid down for a time.

“Hey, You don’t have to do this alone you know.” Riku reaches for his hand, lacing their fingers together. “Can I tell you something?”

“Yeah?”

“I made a promise to myself, when things got darkest, that if I could make it out I’d do everything I could to keep you safe. That’s a promise I intend to keep.” He leans down and kisses the top of Sora’s head “And sometimes, you need to fall down a little so you can find a way through. I should know.” He exhales a soft laugh against Sora’s hair. Sora lets a soft smile curve his lips. Nothing is solved but somehow his fears seem quieted.

“Thankyou R—” a yawn cuts off his thanks, and he can suddenly feel how tired he is, exhausted, body and mind.

“Let’s get some sleep.” Riku smiles.

“Can you?” Sora doesn’t need to finish the question.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

They shuffle under the blanket and Sora curls against Riku’s chest, Riku’s arm draped over him. Safe and warm and hidden from the worries of the world for now.


End file.
